A new born sun

On what it takes to birth life

Once upon the last turning of the seasons, under a sky held within the reborn moon and a still midsummer night, my body began to quiver in anticipation of my descending baby. The moment had neared and was arriving at last. At that time, my belly had ballooned out to massive proportions compared to my petite figure. I walked with a whole world expanding out from my womb. Rippling with life. Mountains formed upon the curvature of my features. I heaved and huffed and groaned and moaned. Yet my body willfully conformed to its new demands. It glowed rosy with joy and my booming belly fluttered with delight.

Oh how I loved that belly so.

On this night, I dreamed of the angels. They spoke of my baby drawing near. I awoke trembling and not a moment passed before the first surges washed over me. They were gentle. Like an ancient song reaching out to me, chanting rhythmically of what’s to come and what has always been. They carried me like a wave through the night. Ebbing and flowing from my dreams into my body and back. A sensation rich with intricacy. A melody laced with stardust. Under the cover of night my body rippled and churned as a river meeting the sea.

Soon my body became the wave. I was liquid. Melting into forgotten spaces and filling unknown places. I was becoming a stone carved round and soft by ancient waters. These waters brought me into the light of day, where the sun shed brightness on what was dark and unknown. My baby was coming indeed. My body crashed upon daylight and the waking hours carried my song with me. Eternity stretched into the mundane corners of life.

The light waned and the night fell again, and my body sunk deeper into steady waters. In and out. Back and forth. I had grown used to this beat by now. I became it fully. There was nothing else but this boundless song. Again and again the wave crashed upon the shore. A rhythm like the drumbeat of creation itself. I was the sea, opening into the infinite primordial waters of the ocean. In the night my body could melt into these surges and become fluid entirely. No longer with borders, but an ever flowing rhythm of currents.

In and out.

My breath the time keeper.

My eyes shut and my body undulating and pulsing in the deep waters of all that is ancient and holy.

When the sun came again he saw me ripe and shattering like a storm upon the sea. My voice was thunder that upheaved the waters and brought waves high to seek the grace of heaven. My waters poured from my body as a great geyser may spring forth water from their old, hidden canals. This day my sun would be born through the aquifers of my trembling body.

He came the way sunlight breaks the night. Little by little, then all at once. He came as a great bird finally landing on solid earth after crossing the sea. Eyes gazing into infinity. He was crowned with grace and endowed with ancient light. Descending upon my chest like moss lays upon stone. The oldest sort of entanglement. Singing still that eternal song of creation.

His song is the sort that weaves earth and water into fire. That settles flames into soft earth. That liquifies hardness and engulfs darkness into magnificent, luminous light. His flame burns as a steady candle upon an altar of god. Constant and sure. Faithful and full. He teaches me everyday of love and god and grace. He is indeed a gracious one. My beloved.

On this midsummer evening my world began to revolve around a newly born sun.